Ten More Movies Turned Failed TV Shows

Ok. After our previous dig into the wretched depths of small screen adaptations, the general consensus is that not only are there way more pieces to examine, but there could possibly be way worse pieces as well. We won't argue either point, as we said before, there are a ton of shitty short-lived television shows based movies, at least compared to the successes. So, again we present ten more examples of boob tube boobery. Shows of note: Bill and Ted (I wish this one would've made it...), Gung Ho with Scott Bakula as Michael Keaton (also with Clint Howard and Gede Watanabe), Working Girl with Sandra Bullock (do you think she remembers making this show? No one else does), and Freddy's Nightmares, and like the Friday the 13th show, it has little to do with the movies really. It's more of an anthology show. And perhaps the most baffling, The Net. Seriously?

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures



Weird Science



Freddy's Nightmares



BeastMaster



Mortal Kombat: Conquest



F/X: The Series



Tales From the Neverending Story



Working Girl



The Net



Gung Ho

What're your favorite failed movie TV shows?

Exploding Heads: Not for the faint of heart!

Ok guys. This post is gore galore. It's one of those things that never gets old in a good gory horror movie, but I hope to never see again. The exploding head! Watch these clips if you dare, they're graphic!

Chopping Mall (1986)



Maniac (1980)



Scanners (1981)



Deadly Friend (1986)



The Borrower (1991)



Final Destination 3 (2006)



Dawn of the Dead (1978)



The Fury (1978)

20 Epic VHS Covers

As a young kid in the '80s, I grew up smack dab in the middle of the home video market boom. All sorts of low budget, straight-to-video schlock hit the shelves with no advertising of any kind other than the cover you were presented with. It really had to sell since you'd probably not seen any trailer or read any reviews for these films; there just weren't any. And being a kid during this boom was great, so many of these covers were better than the movie they packaged, the story you made up in your mind was probably far superior. And the art was so awesome and uniquely "video." So anyways, here're 20 epic video covers that would've have intrigued my 9-year old self, click for larger, more epic views.

17 Polish Posters + 1 Kick Ass German Poster

Is it beating a dead horse to gush over Polish movie poster design? Perhaps, so let me show you a really damn awesome German poster for Dawn of the Dead first:


AWESOME! And for you movie/art nerds, here are 17 of my personal favorite Polish posters. There are big hairy buttloads more showcased in various spots online, so if you're into these, have at the Internet to find more.

Harry and the Hendersons

Howard the Duck

On the Border

The Exorcist

Rocky

Robocop

Rosemary's Baby

The Shining

Sssssss

Star Trek IV

My Stepmother is An Alien

Willow

Blue Thunder

The Changeling

Airplane 2

Alien

Highlander

6 Reasons To Love Teen Witch!

Teen Witch is a masterpiece of cinema, pure and simple. Now you may be asking, "Well, if this film is so great how come he doesn't list 10 reasons or 20 reasons?" Ok, hot shot, I'll tell you why. YES. I could go on and on about how great the choreography is or how influential the fashion has been, but I don't want to give you a heart attack due to extreme excitement. In a sense, I am saving your life with this list. Don't mention it. Here we go...

6. Zelda Rubinstein plays Madame Serena. You may know her as the cute, raspy voiced psychic from Poltergeist...or as the little freaky lady in your nightmares.

5. The film was originally pitched as a "female Teen Wolf". Can you imagine? "It didn't pass me by Dad, it landed on my tits!"

4. The film has been magically transformed into a comedy musical, Teen Witch Live!, currently running at LA's famous Groundlings Theater. Yes, seriously. Let's go!

3. Dan Gauthier (Brad) takes his shirt off. I'm shvitzing!

2. Louise's teacher Mr. Weaver, real name Shelley Berman, also plays Larry David's loveable, pot smoking dad on Curb Your Enthusiasm. I doubt he wouldve landed that role had he not acted his heart out in this film.

1. The rap battle between Polly and Rhet is the single greatest 2 minutes in movie history:



TOP THAT!
(OR go rent THAT on Netflix.)

Top 10 Zombie Scenes!

Hey! In the spirit of Easter Sunday let us discuss reanimated flesh.

10. Return of the Living Dead (1985)
So bad... yet so good.



9. Re-Animator (1984)
This scene always made me laugh. This movie in general is just great.




8. 28 Days Later (1984)
I can't find a clip of this so I'll try and upload this week. But the intro when Jim wakes up in the hospital and makes his way out into the desolate landscape is beautiful. Really sets the mood for the rest of the film.... and the music is perfect.

7. Evil dead 2 (1987)
Cmooooonnnnnn! Bruce Campbell. Zombie hand. AWESOME!



6. Day of the Dead (1984)
Not only does the most annoying character in the film die. It is probably the most gruesome and well shot death sequences in Romero's career.





5. Dawn of the Dead (remake)(2004)
Who would have thought a remake of one of the greatest zombie films of all time would make the list. But I will stand by saying that the first 15 minutes of this film may be the most frightening in zombie history.




4. Lucio Fulci’s Zombie(or Zombie 2) (1980)
Just over the top awesome. I mean... it's a zombie fighting a fucking shark. Go ahead and try to film a more badass scene. I dare you.





3. Dead Alive (Brain Dead)(1992)
Oh... Peter Jackson. Please make more films like this. If I recall correctly... this film holds the record for most fake blood used in a film ever (This scene being the reason for that).





2. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
This scene really drove the point of this film home. Short, sweet and very well written.





1. Night of the Living Dead (1978)
So I guess this is cheating but whatever... I can't pick a scene and nothing I say hasn't already been said... the whole movie is amazing. It started this genre and will go down as the best. Watch the whole movie below.





I am well aware this is very subjective and that a lot of great scenes are left out of this list... I mean... is there really a bad scene in a zombie film?
Feel free to add your own favorite zombie scenes in the comments section.

Top 10 Biker Movie Posters

10. Dirt (1979)
Nothin' says "break free" like that photo.

9. Stone (1974)
Where nature meets metal?

8. Black Angels (1970)
"Hondahog" type kills it, "Cool it, baby" type saves it.

7. Motorpsycho (1965)
If newspapers looked as cool as this, they'd still be in business.

6. Warriors of the Lost World (1983)
Extremely N(Ice) typography.

5. The Death Wheelers (1971)
Skulls, Skulls, Skulls!

4. Timerider (1982)
Yes, in the future all land will be in grids.

3. Werewolves on Wheels (1971)
Fuck you, Teenwolf!

2. Deathsport (German Poster) (1978)
A Rollerball rip with swords and tits.


1. The Bronx Warriors II (German Poster) (1983)
The Dolph Lundgren of Biker Movie Posters.


(Posters from WSOTA and other sources.)

The Great Epic Ape Attack Of ‘09

If you’re anything like me, and I’m assuming you are because you’re reading this, there’s sometimes a bit more satisfaction in watching a really good knock-off than watching a really good movie. It’s like knowing a deep dark secret a good friend tells you in confidence, but you already heard the fact casually from his older brother.

Today we look (laugh) at the lesser siblings of Kong, and though one could make the argument that Peter Jackson’s version deserves to be profiled, I think while it sucks, it doesn’t suck in the awesome way that might earn it a place in this post. It Just sucks. So we begin with Kong's epic comeback story, King Kong Lives.

Thanks to advances in ‘80s gigantic primate medicine, doctors are able to revive Kong from his decade-long coma by way of a massive heart transplant. His heart is not only weakened by the previous film’s traumas, but by his new love, Lady Kong. And Linda Hamilton.




Prior to making her dramatic turn in Lives, Ms. Kong can be found whipping up comedy mischief in her first starring role as Queen Kong. This British hunk of ape turd was produced in ‘76 amid Kong fervor due to the original remake.




Not to be outdone, the Chinese volley a year later with The Mighty Peking Man.Tarantino has since released this on DVD through his distribution company, so check it out!






Before any of these ‘70s Kong rip-offs, came Konga, the original poo-slinging copycat. And if you couldn’t smell the Kong-itutde from hearing the title alone, it’s original theatrical poster directly compares the two. Of note: Konga's career actually had a minor run in comic books also. EDIT: I’m not sure how I could have made this incredible editorial oversight, but Konga also stars Michael Gough, who some twenty years later would go one to be everyone’s favorite Batman butler, Alfred in the ‘80s and ‘90s series!




And in the essence of brevity, if I can still be afforded that at this point, with no comment check out Kong's two Japanese title bouts between Godzilla and a mechanized version of himself.






If you’re still with me at this point, you’re lucky, ’cause as is often the case, we’ve saved the best for last.



Did we miss any contenders? Let us know in the comments!