Now that we we have squeaked our way past Rat Month, here's a brief but completely awesome look at rat films we didn't feature fully, but hope to in the future:
Deadly Eyes (1982)
Rats aka Killer Rats (2003)
Altered Species aka Rodentz (2001)
Willard (1971) & Ben (1972)
As many of you know, Willard was remade in 2003 by everyone's favorite eccentric, Crispin Glover. Here he is singing the sequel's title theme Ben. What a wacky guy.
A second batch of rat leftovers is coming soon! Stay tuned!
I warned you about our love for the Ninja Turtles. And this is the perfect endcap for Michael Jackson Rat Month in my opinion (Splinter, duh). Most people who grew up in the '80s and '90s probably had some kind of relationship with the Turtles, and if it wasn't a deep burning love, it was at least on the level of thinking they would be a good date, if not a lasting relationship.
Anyways, Secret of the Ooze was the second feature film in the turtle franchise, not a typical candidate for this site, though to some that’s arguable. Most of you have likely seen it and loved it despite it's divergence from all previous canon. I think most kids were pumped to see Bebop and Rocksteady in rubber suited glory, but disgruntled creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird were annoyed with the direction the characters took in the TV show, so they created Tokka and Rahzar, the wolf and snapping turtle mutants. These dudes ruled!
I may be the only person who thought so because they never truly made the transition into lasting roles in the series. They made one appearance on the animated show, and a rather ridiculous one at that, peek the first part of the episode below:
Rahzar sounds waaaay too intelligent to be terrorizing a mall, he should probably be trying to sell the mega-recliners at the center kiosk, explaining all the relaxing features they boast. Tokka can ring customers up.
Here’s the Archie comics adaptation of TMNT2. I don't really remember buying this as a kid, but who knows. It may have been my brother's and came into my possession when he surrendered portions of his comic collection to me. Or maybe he doesn't know I have it...Thanks Chris! This features art by long time turtles artist, Jim Lawson and writer Steve Murphy (aka Dean Clarrain). The scan is only ok, but it should be good enough to satiate the other turtle nerds out there.
My 11-year old mutant love aside, what most people probably remember about this movie is the questionable career move Vanilla Ice made in delivering "Ninja Rap" to the film's soundtrack. His intentions were probably right on, the "movie single" was pretty big in the '90s and his career was pretty hot then and figured he could brush off any ill effects. And he probably could have, but as time proved, he never really made super savvy decisions, Roll 'Em Up, anyone? In context though, "Ninja Rap" really is one of the better tracks, and that's a statement on how ridiculous the rest of the soundtrack is. No other huge names really appeared on the cd, but I think you'll find it fun anyways. Watch Ice and grab the album below!
Now this is WAY off content, apologies, but I’m obsessed...
I also think any video game loving kid of this time also had an appreciation for the turtle games, especially the arcade version. Kids would crowd around that thing for hours and around this time in gaming, the only place you could get real 4-player action was at an arcade, my local one being Alladin’s Castle, man that place ruled! And what better game to have four friends on than one where you can be a Ninja Turtle? This also set the precedent for all future turtle games of that generation following the first TMNT release for NES, which was hard as balls, for younger me anyways. Tokka and Rahzar didn’t hit the game franchise until the NES game TMNT 3 - The Manhattan Project and then reappeared in the SNES follow up TMNT 4 - Turtles in Time.
Keep and eye out for more Ninja Turtles in the future, because really, can you ever get enough? And keep on eye on Ninja Pizza for all things TMNT related!
Rat Month squeaks on at CMC, with the equally high/low point in Nelson de la Rosa's small career. With Rat Man, de la Rosa had his first and only starring role. Also in Rat Man, he finds ultimate exploitation at the hands of its director, Giuliano Carnimeo who is only interested in the gimmick. The movie really only serves to have the world's littlest actor be a scary rat-monkey with poisonous claws and is super tiny and angry and hungry and tiny and tiny. Ladies scream. Blood is shed. Valuable time is lost on this hunk of rodent feces. You may have seen this movie already, but if not, maybe go for his later appearance in The Island of Dr. Moreau as mini-Brando.
Sadly, Nelson de la Rosa passed two years ago, but here's the weird thing: He died on my birthday in Providence, Rhode Island while I was living there! I have no recollection of what I was doing at the time, but somewhere across town, the world lost a real gem of a man. I wish I had been more aware of his career and passing. His later years he spent being a good luck fixture in the Red Sox dugout with friend and fellow Dominican Pedro Martinez. Everyone had nothing but amazing things to say about him. He was also one hell of a dancer.
Taking into account the previous weekend’s holiday and that we kind of let Michael Jackson Rat Week fall by the wayside, we’re going to extend the festivities for a whole month! That’s right, Rat Week is now officially Rat Month!
So let’s continue, shall we?
Jaws really kind of screwed things up in the ‘70s with the giant animal monster party, and the killer creatures kept getting weirder and weirder. Like Frogs, Slugs, and Night of the Lepus. But Bert I. Gordon (aka B.I.G.) was no stranger to giant creatures, having previously worked on Earth vs. The Giant Spider, Village of the Giants and The Amazing Colossal Man, all awesome movies. But Christ almighty is this a stinker.
Food of the Gods isn’t that bad really, but it’s silly, and just a little too slow to watch with drunk friends. There are however other awesome huge creatures like roosters and maggots.
And Gordon uses the best trick in the book with real rats running around tiny balsa wood sets and huge rat face puppets for the close-ups and giving them new roaring, snarling sounds when they grow. But the most talked about aspect is the blatant animal cruelty on display here. These rats are really being injured here, either by pellet guns or squibs and it appears like even actual rat drowning. It’s odd how normally one might not give a second thought to wishing a rat dead (if you live in a big city, that is) but here, it’s kind of gruesome honestly. They’re just trying to get a paycheck, show up on set chit chatting with the other extras when BAM, you be blowed in a dirty pool of water only to die before finding out what the catering will be.
Story-wise, it’s the same sort of thing you might expect from the ‘70s: eco-thriller about nature having it’s revenge on a cruel and polluting mankind. There’s even the "it’s over but wait...there could be a sequel!" ending. And there is.
I have no idea where I originally saw this movie, but deep in the recesses of my memory, I thought I loved this...
And I think I still do, but, Ratboy is bad, I mean a real stinker. Starring and directed by Sondra Locke, it’s hard to tell what we’re watching. It’s not really funny, it’s hard to establish any real drama here, like in ET or something similar, and it’s kind of slow as hell. Locke starts by trying to pimp out the rat/human hybrid kidnapped from his sewer dwelling but he just wants to left alone. Even Mr. Belvedere makes an appearance to help Ratboy assimilate into his new non-sewer life. Ratboy just wants to crush on Locke and not be out in the public, though I will say he deals with people reasonably well considering his circumstances. So anyways, he eventually freaks out and runs away, people chase him, Locke realizes he should be left alone, the end.
And actually Ratboy is really Ratgirl, Eugene is played by former Mousketeer Sharon Baird (funny how that worked out) with help from make up maestro Rick Baker and big puffy shirt to hide her boobs.
Ratboy has a number of comedian appearances and cameos including Louie Anderson, Bill Maher, Robert Townsend, Gerrit Graham and Larry Hankin. I have no idea why in the hell Locke would want to make this movie, and wouldn’t be surprised if she and Clint ended up destroying all the prints. Maybe this is why they broke up even, I mean, I hate to spread rumors, but the connection would seem obvious after you’ve watched this all the way through. And now that I think about it, Locke was no stranger to rat movies. She also starred in the original Willard, which was followed by Ben, whose title song was performed MJ, which is why we’re even talking about Ratboy right now. Amazing how that worked out, if not for her and Clint.
To date, Ratboy doesn’t have a DVD release (not surprising), but you can find used VHS copies around the web.
EDIT: Ah, well, Blogger took down our previous post because of the MJ song, and any explanation of why we’re talking rats. Basically, MJ sang them theme to Ben, so we’re honoring his memory with a week’s worth of rat posts. Reasonable, no?
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