THE P.A.C.K. (1997)

Just came across this gem, what better way to fight for humanity than with your fists. And a bazooka. 

Siri: The Christmas Horror Movie Trailer

Wow. I'd pay to see this.

Cool Vintage Russian Sci-Fi cartoons

If you follow us on YouTube you would have seen these before, but if some of you losers do not, here are some really cool vintage Russian animations based on Ray Bradbury stories. If you don't speak Russian, hopefully you're familiar enough with the stories to at least follow along. Thanks to whoever first put these into the digital universe, we are but a vessel.

The worst Gremlins game that never was.

Movies.com unearthed a cancelled Gremlins game for PS2/Gamecube and argues its for good reason, and I'm not about to say otherwise. But really, have any of you guys ever played a Gremlins video game? THEY ALL SUCK DUNKEY BUTT.

Gremlins 2 for Gameboy


Gremlins: Unleashed! for Gameboy


Stripe vs Gizmo for GBA


Gremlins 2 for NES


Gremlins for Atari 2600

So nothing new or enlightening in this post, just a quick reminder that when you have to crap in a public toilet, there's always a turd waiting for you.

Alien 2: On Earth (1980)

Italian horror/sci-fi movie Alien 2:On Earth is supposed to be an unofficial sequel to the 1979 Ridley Scott Alien. While it doesn't really have any echoes of that movie other than having, you know, an alien in it, it is pretty creative init's own right. The beginning is kind of slow, following a group of spelunkers on their way do their thang. Once they get down in the ground, all hell breaks loose when they discover a organism down there that kind looks like rocks. I kinda dug this movie quite a bit, for what it is.



I get why they wanted to hop on the Alien-train and cash in, but really there's not a thing about this that reminds me of Alien. It's present day it seems, and the alien I guess is more of a shape shifter rather than a recognizable creature, but this has more to do with budget limitations I'm sure. It's almost like The Descent meets The Thing meets Zombi 2. If you dig Italian zombie movies I say definitely check this out, blu-ray if you can, and be patient during the opening act, and you'll see awesome things like this:

As always I may be in the minority on stuff like this, but give it a shot. It's not art. It's not cinema. But it's pretty fun. Grab it from Amazon.

Every Bill Paxton line from Aliens.

Game over, man.

Joey aka Making Contact (1985)

One christmas, my parents got me what they considered to be a pretty sweet gift for a kid, a Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist's dummy. And by all accounts it would have been awesome for a nerdy kid like myself, were it nor for the fact that I had recently seen Roland Emmerich's Making Contact. I can't recall the specifics from that first viewing, but I remember the experience clearly, and I remember thinking "Why are these people (my parents) letting me watch this?! It's horrifying! Why aren't they horrified?! Why don't they love me enough to make me turn it off?!"

Needless to say, the Charlie McCarthy dummy got more dust than use, much to my parent's confusion.

It took me 20+ years and a search on kindertrauma to rediscover this childhood horror. We open on the funeral of Joey's pops, and quickly jump into discovering that Joey's dad is now a ghost who calls him on a toy telephone and teaches him esp stuff like moving a glass of with his mind. And although all this hocus pocus is going on, Joey's toys seem to be independently alive, I don't get it.

Anyways, Joey then discovers a ventriloquist's dummy named Fletcher in a basement that shoots lightning form his eyeballs and growls a lot (that scared poop into my pants when I was a kid) who is also alive and reveals to Joey that the man on the phone is not his father, but am old timey ventriloquist! Or is he lying?!


I hate to say stuff like this in sci-fi-ish movies, but a ton of implausible stuff happens, mostly character stuff (so Joey's teacher sneaks into peoples homes and they don't care? In fact he stays for dinner?) The dummy goes on a rampage and traps some of Joey's schoolmates in the cellar where he was first found with all sorts of wack-a-doo magic happenings. It's up to Joey to go in and use his newly discovered telekinetic powers and shut that bitch down, america style.

The movie's pretty trim at 79 minutes, though the German version has about 20 minutes longer. I'm not sure what the differences are, so please don't ask. It's available on youtube though.

So many movies like this seem awesome when we're kids, but suck lion turds on rewatching. In this case, I think having seen it once and being horrified and seeing it again only now actually helped it. That and it's many references coupled with decent production values make it a cut above similar wannabes. The whole thing reeks of ET, Poltergeist, maybe some Goonies as well and even Star Wars references including ripped off R2D2-like robot that hangs out with Joey the whole movie.


We all know Emmerich went onto to bigger and bigger and BIGGER HUGER WORLD ENDING things. Every movie he makes apparently needs to out do each previous film. That man isn't content destroying the world twice for chrissakes. But here, being a super early work, his limitations in budget and effects help keep the story kind of grounded. I cant imagine if he were making this movie now how it might turn out. "Ok so instead of the dummy just terrorizing kids, I think it'd be more powerful if he runs for president and then tried to explode the world with aliens before he changes history!" "What?" "I know!" I cant guarantee you will like this not having been traumatized as a child though, because it certainly isn't great per se, but I found immensely more watchable than many of Emmerich's more recent disastersplotation films.

More than anything, this has me pumped to see Super 8. But you can buy Joey on DVD at amazon.com for now

Picture of the Day: Where is John Connor?

Can you guess who his one follower is? Click here for the answer.

Then and Now

Child actors all grown up. Some campy and some not. I'll keep adding to this list if you suggest it.

Alex Vincent - Child's Play:

Ariana Richards & Joseph Mazello - Jurassic Park:
Brian Bonsall - Blank Check:

Carrie Henn - Aliens:
Cary Guffey - Close Encounters of the Third Kind:

Danny Cooksey - Salute Your Shorts/Terminator 2:

Danny Lloyd - The Shining:
Daveigh Chase - The Ring:

Elijah Wood - Back to the Future 2:
Felissa Rose - Sleepaway Camp:
Harvey Stephens - The Omen:

Ivyann Schwann - Problem Child 2:

Jason James Richter - Free Willy:

John Lipnicki - Jerry Macguire:

Joshua Miller - Near Dark:

Lisa & Louis Burns - The Shining:

Michael Oliver - Problem Child:

Miko Hughes - Pet SemataryNoah Hathaway & Barret Oliver - The Never Ending Story:

Patty McCormack - The Bad Seed:

Peter Billingsley - A Christmas Story:

Peter Ostrum - Charlie and the Chocolate factory:

Stephen Dorff - The Gate:

Veronica Cartwright - The Birds:
Will & Hank Deutschendorf - Ghostbusters 2:

VHS Cover of the Day: Laserblast (1978)

Walter Cronkite goes into the grid

Now that Tron Legacy has come and gone, I'd say Mr. Cronkite was right in that the future is made of equal parts technology and old fashioned ham...

Xtro (1982)

Man Xtro was a pretty wild ride I thought. The basic premise is that Sam is abducted by aliens in front of his kid, and everyone just thinks he ran off and left the family. He returns three years later in pretty epic fashion—an alien beams down to earth and then rapes some lady and then Sam is born, all in the same evening! He then returns to his family. His wife, Rachel, is seeing a new dude, Joe, and she's all sorts of emotionally mixed up since Sam says he has no idea what happened to him.

Sam then tries to get his family to come with him (he knows he's an alien) and all sorts of wacky shit starts happening. It was kind of like Phantasm for me with it's wild mindfuck sort of events happening. It was kind of slow in the interesting way most older films are, not like BAM BAM BAM hollywood thinks viewers needs to stay attentive. I dug this quite a bit, unlike it's horrible horrible two sequels. Both were also directed by Harry Bromley Davenport, but carry none of the visceral and interesting qualities the first has. They're both rips of Aliens and Predator! But with awful aliens! The alieb in Xtro 3 is especially ridiculous, and I can't even bring myself to review those two, but I'll include some screens. And despite however intriguing these may look to you, please for the love of all that is holy and blessed in this world, avoid them at all costs.

Jan Michael VIncent! Boom!

Nope, not as bad ass as Predator

Davenport has claimed recently that he's begun work on Xtro 4, saying it will be more like the first in terms of mind bending. Everyone has been saying the problem with parts 2 and 3 are that while Davenport kept copyright over the name Xtro, he did not retain any rights to the characters or story. I say hogwash, that doesn't give you the right to make a shitty movie!

The original Xtro had a few alternate endings, the first being cut because producers weren't in love with the special effects, the second being cut because Davenport thought it was kind of dull which brought us to the one used in the film. Here's the original for those who have seen Xtro or if you're interested in this kind of thing.

Aw Hell! and Ole grandday Caruthers ain't forgotten about how you like some old forgotten scores! I cannot for the life of remember where this is from, but here it is, thanks goes out to the cosmos! TRIVIA: The score is done by none other than Harry Bromley-Davenport himself! Exclamation point!

Xtro score

PS PS BONUS BONUS AGAIN:

Here's a sweet interview I found with Davenport on making Xtro, really cool stuff. Followed by the Siskel and Ebert review, SPOILER: They're not huge fans of it, but don't let that stop you from seeing this! Love the RCA video disc commercial at the end. I had recently researched a bunch of those for a separate post and boy do I just love old technology!