David Caruso, Sandra Bernhard, Zangief and Frank Stallone. The supporting cast of dreams. Yes, they're all here alongside Bruce Willis, Danny Aiello, Andie MacDowell and James Coburn in Hudson Hawk! This movie reeks of '90s absurdity with Willis getting back to comedy, but unfortunately, he's not always as funny as he thinks. This is based on Willis' one & only script, and it's fun enough, but it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, even when allowing for absurdity to reign.
Willis plays Hawkins aka The Hudson Hawk, a cat burglar recently paroled who gets pulled into a crazy heist involving DaVinci and candy bars. His partner is Danny Aiello and together they time their heist by singing the same song at the same time while doing their tasks. Watches would be easier. And quieter. 'Cause they're singing this shit full blast in museum showrooms. Sayin'. The movie just gets nuttier and nuttier until it's full on lasers and DaVinci plans and glass shape thingies; I'm not sure what Willis was thinking. It's like part Indiana Jones, part Moonlighting, a dash of Caddyshack (not the funny parts) and maybe a sprinkle of food poisoning.
I'm a pretty big Willis fan, so I kind of enjoyed seeing this and maybe it only ought to stay for fans of Bruno. Hawk got terrible reviews on its release and it won for a sackful of Razzies in 1992. You could do way worse when it comes to screwball comedies though. And I think that's part of the marketing problem, which Wikipedia confirmed for me. You'd think they'red be more action based on the trailer, but it's more along the lines of Stallone's '90s screwball comedy Oscar or something, with action bits. David Caruso was pretty funny-though-bordering-on-annoying in his non-speaking role which ends with him painted up as a statue and then being crossbowed. And Andie MacDowell is cute as a button as always. But ultimately, if you just want to see Willis blow some stuff up, just watch Die Hard again. I assume all of you own it, and if not delete me from your memory banks, you're dead to me.
Man I want that baseball cap!
I think Willis and crew expected this to be a big hit though; there was a video game and the soundtrack features two duets from Willis and Aiello performing their heist tunes. There was a pretty heavy marketing campaign for it as well, and I'm sure if you've never seen the movie, you've at least heard of it. Well now you have. And you can hear the duets, including the whole soundtrack below. And if you're feeling especially saucy this weekend, you can grab the Gameboy rom also.
"Slurp my butt."