Deep Blue Sea (1999)

This is a bad movie.

No doubt about that.

But it's the kind of crap that when it's on BET or TBS or USA or some other channel I generally wouldn't watch... I will absolutely stop in my tracks and say "Holy shit! Deep Blue Sea is on! Deepest Bluest My hat is like a sharks fin! I know what I'm watching tonight!"

Plot synopsis: Basically everyone dies. Sharks are awesome. LL Cool J is awesome. Sharks are super awesome. Samuel L. Jackson? Guy from the Mist whose name I always forget. Michael Rapaport? It's really not all that bad....

Ok yes it is.

It's on BET right now and I'm watching it. I couldn't help myself.

I leave you with this:


I know this will make the post super long... but I DARE YOU to try and read these lyrics seriously... as if they were a poem. I triple dog dare you to upload a video of yourself reading it. If you do... I will send a scantily clad picture of myself giving you a thumbs up!... no lie... I will do this.

"Deepest Bluest (Shark's Fin)"
Uh, my hat is like a shark's fin
[1] - Deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark's fin
[Repeat 1 (5x)]
Manmade terror
Hungry jaws of death
Y'all don't cross my depths
I'll pause your breaths
I cause you to sink down forty thousand leagues
Bleeding to death with no arms and short sleeves
My world's deep blue
Killers gotta eat too
Looking for human flesh to rip my teeth through
Other fish in the sea but Barracudas ain't equal
To a half human predator created by a needle
Jet black eyes baby they stare while you sleep
When your Titanic sinks I'm the one you gon' meet
Hearing terrified screams they surround my team
All you see is trails of blood
Even God won't intervene
Nightmares of darkness
My apetite is heartless
Even if we related, you eliminated regardless
In the deep blue, underwater walls
Half man, half shark
My jaws don't fall
[Repeat 1 (8x)]
Our Father who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Killers sworn to beast
Swallowed them in flames
They switched my DNA
Trip me into Cool J
I can't fight the feeling
I'm born to kill prey
To survive an attack
There's only one way
Battle to the death
That's how sharks play
Weapons left behind
We dueling with the mind
You blind, crippled, or crazy
You're real easy to find
Struggling to flow with hemorrhages in your throat
Getting the lap dance while I smash through your boat
Eat your whole fam
Nothing left but a right hand
Clinging to a rail
Escape, attempts fail
You'll never make it home
Tear the flesh off your bone
Walking in undercurrents is a dangerous zone
I'm talking death out a moment's notice
You wasn't focused
Me and my crew strike
Like some underwater locusts
[Repeat 1 (8x)]
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
Uh, uh take it deeper
These waters are waist level
The hallway's flooded
Lost your scuba gear
The killer's cold-blooded
His name's LL
You don't really want it
I ate your ancestors
The ocean is haunted
I'm closing in cause I'm supposed to win
How the cold steel feel when it froze your chin
Should of stayed on dry land
Stroke while you can
Cause now you under pressure in the land of the damned
Abandoned pirate ships
Eels and sod scum
Fish that glow in the dark
The Titanic's hub
Underwater storms
You're blood is so warm
You're life vest is off
And that turns me on
Killer for centuries
The Gotti of the deep
In the next millennium
I'm still gonna creep
Sand under my belly, ocean over my head
Through the light in the shadows
You become the living dead
[Repeat 1 (12x)]
Yeah, DBS


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