7/31/09

MJRM: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (1991)


I warned you about our love for the Ninja Turtles. And this is the perfect endcap for Michael Jackson Rat Month in my opinion (Splinter, duh). Most people who grew up in the '80s and '90s probably had some kind of relationship with the Turtles, and if it wasn't a deep burning love, it was at least on the level of thinking they would be a good date, if not a lasting relationship.

Anyways, Secret of the Ooze was the second feature film in the turtle franchise, not a typical candidate for this site, though to some that’s arguable. Most of you have likely seen it and loved it despite it's divergence from all previous canon. I think most kids were pumped to see Bebop and Rocksteady in rubber suited glory, but disgruntled creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird were annoyed with the direction the characters took in the TV show, so they created Tokka and Rahzar, the wolf and snapping turtle mutants. These dudes ruled!



I may be the only person who thought so because they never truly made the transition into lasting roles in the series. They made one appearance on the animated show, and a rather ridiculous one at that, peek the first part of the episode below:



Rahzar sounds waaaay too intelligent to be terrorizing a mall, he should probably be trying to sell the mega-recliners at the center kiosk, explaining all the relaxing features they boast. Tokka can ring customers up.


Here’s the Archie comics adaptation of TMNT2. I don't really remember buying this as a kid, but who knows. It may have been my brother's and came into my possession when he surrendered portions of his comic collection to me. Or maybe he doesn't know I have it...Thanks Chris! This features art by long time turtles artist, Jim Lawson and writer Steve Murphy (aka Dean Clarrain). The scan is only ok, but it should be good enough to satiate the other turtle nerds out there.




My 11-year old mutant love aside, what most people probably remember about this movie is the questionable career move Vanilla Ice made in delivering "Ninja Rap" to the film's soundtrack. His intentions were probably right on, the "movie single" was pretty big in the '90s and his career was pretty hot then and figured he could brush off any ill effects. And he probably could have, but as time proved, he never really made super savvy decisions, Roll 'Em Up, anyone? In context though, "Ninja Rap" really is one of the better tracks, and that's a statement on how ridiculous the rest of the soundtrack is. No other huge names really appeared on the cd, but I think you'll find it fun anyways. Watch Ice and grab the album below!







Now this is WAY off content, apologies, but I’m obsessed...

I also think any video game loving kid of this time also had an appreciation for the turtle games, especially the arcade version. Kids would crowd around that thing for hours and around this time in gaming, the only place you could get real 4-player action was at an arcade, my local one being Alladin’s Castle, man that place ruled! And what better game to have four friends on than one where you can be a Ninja Turtle? This also set the precedent for all future turtle games of that generation following the first TMNT release for NES, which was hard as balls, for younger me anyways. Tokka and Rahzar didn’t hit the game franchise until the NES game TMNT 3 - The Manhattan Project and then reappeared in the SNES follow up TMNT 4 - Turtles in Time.







Buy Secret of the Ooze/ Rent It / Watch It

Keep and eye out for more Ninja Turtles in the future, because really, can you ever get enough? And keep on eye on Ninja Pizza for all things TMNT related!

17 Polish Posters + 1 Kick Ass German Poster

Is it beating a dead horse to gush over Polish movie poster design? Perhaps, so let me show you a really damn awesome German poster for Dawn of the Dead first:


AWESOME! And for you movie/art nerds, here are 17 of my personal favorite Polish posters. There are big hairy buttloads more showcased in various spots online, so if you're into these, have at the Internet to find more.

Harry and the Hendersons

Howard the Duck

On the Border

The Exorcist

Rocky

Robocop

Rosemary's Baby

The Shining

Sssssss

Star Trek IV

My Stepmother is An Alien

Willow

Blue Thunder

The Changeling

Airplane 2

Alien

Highlander

7/29/09

Robot Jox and Crash and Burn: The Scores

Apparently it's soundtrack week on CMC! And there's at least one more super awesome post left that I've been sitting on for Michael Jackson's Rat Month. Boy you guys have it made.

I don't know how many times I can say it, I love Stuart Gordon's Robot Jox. Back in my college radio days, the show my buddy Ross and I hosted was called The Robot Jox. In fact, it's not that I had completely forgotten, but Mr. Phelpster's post on the Manchester Morgue reminded me how I had not posted the score in our original post. We hadn't really fleshed out the format here yet. So here you go, months and months late. The score to probably one of my all-time favorite movies. I also love Die Hard, just so you know.





The companion to Robot Jox (in life and in our post) was Crash & Burn, released the same year, and directed by Charles Band. The score was done by his brother Richard Band. Their father Albert, directed Robot Wars. I love the Band family's dedication to my overall childhood robot happiness factor.




Also, we can't claim credit for either of the above being available to you all. Both are long out of print and we don't know the original sources, but they are greatly thanked and appreciated!

If there are any previous scores or soundtracks for films we've reviewed you'd like us to post, let us know in the comments. It's a fair bet we have it, but at this point, I don't think we'll go one by one posting them up. It'll be by request only for the old stuff right now.

7/23/09

The Barbarians (part 1): The Soundtracks

Ok so remember waaaaaaay back when we first started this mess known as Camp Movie Camp, and we began the Barbarian series? We haven't forgotten, and as a show of good faith that there is much more magic and muscle ahead, we thought we'd bring you the way out of print soundtracks for both our first movies in that series.


Ok we admit it, It was kind of a tease to only offer you the butt-rock anthem "Yor's World" last time, but thanks to the power of community, and whoever the original source for this might be, you can now get epic with the whole damned score.




Remember the Fulci mind scramble that was Conquest? Well then your mind obviously wasn't scrambled enough, let this score by Claudio Simonetti of Goblin finish the job.

7/18/09

MJRM2009: Ratman (1988)



Rat Month squeaks on at CMC, with the equally high/low point in Nelson de la Rosa's small career. With Rat Man, de la Rosa had his first and only starring role. Also in Rat Man, he finds ultimate exploitation at the hands of its director, Giuliano Carnimeo who is only interested in the gimmick. The movie really only serves to have the world's littlest actor be a scary rat-monkey with poisonous claws and is super tiny and angry and hungry and tiny and tiny. Ladies scream. Blood is shed. Valuable time is lost on this hunk of rodent feces. You may have seen this movie already, but if not, maybe go for his later appearance in The Island of Dr. Moreau as mini-Brando.







Sadly, Nelson de la Rosa passed two years ago, but here's the weird thing: He died on my birthday in Providence, Rhode Island while I was living there! I have no recollection of what I was doing at the time, but somewhere across town, the world lost a real gem of a man. I wish I had been more aware of his career and passing. His later years he spent being a good luck fixture in the Red Sox dugout with friend and fellow Dominican Pedro Martinez. Everyone had nothing but amazing things to say about him. He was also one hell of a dancer.



Buy Rat Man here

7/8/09

MJRM2009: The Food of the Gods (1976)



Taking into account the previous weekend’s holiday and that we kind of let Michael Jackson Rat Week fall by the wayside, we’re going to extend the festivities for a whole month! That’s right, Rat Week is now officially Rat Month!

So let’s continue, shall we?

Jaws really kind of screwed things up in the ‘70s with the giant animal monster party, and the killer creatures kept getting weirder and weirder. Like Frogs, Slugs, and Night of the Lepus. But Bert I. Gordon (aka B.I.G.) was no stranger to giant creatures, having previously worked on Earth vs. The Giant Spider, Village of the Giants and The Amazing Colossal Man, all awesome movies. But Christ almighty is this a stinker.



Food of the Gods isn’t that bad really, but it’s silly, and just a little too slow to watch with drunk friends. There are however other awesome huge creatures like roosters and maggots.



And Gordon uses the best trick in the book with real rats running around tiny balsa wood sets and huge rat face puppets for the close-ups and giving them new roaring, snarling sounds when they grow. But the most talked about aspect is the blatant animal cruelty on display here. These rats are really being injured here, either by pellet guns or squibs and it appears like even actual rat drowning. It’s odd how normally one might not give a second thought to wishing a rat dead (if you live in a big city, that is) but here, it’s kind of gruesome honestly. They’re just trying to get a paycheck, show up on set chit chatting with the other extras when BAM, you be blowed in a dirty pool of water only to die before finding out what the catering will be.



Story-wise, it’s the same sort of thing you might expect from the ‘70s: eco-thriller about nature having it’s revenge on a cruel and polluting mankind. There’s even the "it’s over but wait...there could be a sequel!" ending. And there is.

Buy It / Rent It / Watch It

7/1/09

Camp Cuddly Pines Powertool Massacre (2005)




This is the first adult film reviewed on Camp movie Camp... and to change things up a little bit. I thought I'd Live Blog this as I watch it...

I obviously can't show screen caps... or post trailers... but please see this.

Enjoy:

Teenagers in a van... typical.

Metalicide concert! really? metalicide? that is actually probably a shitty nu metal band.

"is that all you think about?... doing it?".... "i'm sorry what was that?... I was thinking about doing it!"

2 couples have sex while in the van while a nerd films all within the first 3 minutes.

Holy shit this is actually funny.

Homeless guy just got hit by a van 3 times.

Yup... homeless dead guy on the roof of the van sitting up with a telephone pole in the background giving the appearance of huge boner... someone actually thought about this before filming it... shocking/funny.

Hmmm.... did Kinzie Kenner get her boob job removed? Or was this before then...either way she looks MUCH better this way.

The upside down sex thing is neither attractive nor comfortable... neither is the heavily breathing creepy dude staring in from the window.

Total homage to Halloween now.

Creepy old guy telling a story around a campfire.

PA insane asylum reference!

AWESOME! 4 girls on 1 dude!

Oh hey! Rita Faltoyano! that mole is still goin' strong... ugh.

It's odd that the crazy female inmates are so sexy and have so much makeup and so little clothes!... who would have thought.

It's steamy in here... clean the lens camera dude...or turn down the fog machine!

Off to the bar/Jim's cheese steaks.

Ok back from the bar/jims cheese steaks.

They are still going strong! 4 on 1! I think this means I win at life.

This scene ended exactly how i pictured it.... awesomely!

Back to the campfire story.

"is that all you think about?... doing it?".... "i'm sorry what was that?... I was thinking about doing it!" This line? AGAIN?

Katie Morgan
! SWEET!
(fact: the reason Katie Morgan got into porn was to pay off her fines for smuggling over a hundred pounds of weed into the country... read it in her linked name... also.. AWESOME!)

CLOWN WITH POWERTOOL!

DEAD!.... and naked!

Back to campfire story.

Now it's looking to be a texas chainsaw massacre porn!

WHAT THE FUCK! Sexy Native American Spirit guide... seriously?

She is glowing.

Oh shit they are gonna do it.

"Consider this the first thanksgiving... Pilgrim!!!!!!!"

BEST. MOVIE. EVER!

"watch the teeth!..."

AND THEN A FUCKING LEOPARD BITES THE DUDES DICK OFF! straight out of nowhere!

Still funny horror comedy going on... surprisingly better acting than i thought... also big boobs.

"maybe the creepy caretaker was right..."

Good thing the sheriff showed up... doubt he's gonna do it with anyone.

whoops... I was wrong... doing it!

It's so cold in this cabin we found. someone should get some firewood so that the nerdy virgin guy can be alone with the 2 hot buxom ladies just craving some action for the first time in an hour.

Oh what the fuck! the Ring was just ripped off... hes fucking the girl from the well.... this is amazing.

"Oh... thats creepy" (as he gets a beej)

"NASTY WELL GIRL"

I am buying this movie. genius.

"DONT SPIN YOUR HEAD IN A 360" Best scene in the movie.

Well I was wrong about the nerd gettin' it with 2 chicks. just one.... and it was hot.

It has now turned into a horror.

Lead character dead and the sheriff shows up. He is one of the funniest dudes in the movie.

Revenge of the Nerds reference.

Chase scene...

Scream reference!

The blonde needs to comfort the nerd in the woods... i mean it IS scary.

BWAHAHAHAHAhAhAHAhAhA Sheriff attacked by raccoon.

I am not gonna ruin the end of the movie for you..

BUT SEE THIS!